bigcitygreensfandomcom-20200223-history
Welcome Home/Transcript
Big City Interstate (A passing van shows the title of the episode. It drives off and we then see the Kludge A114.) Cricket: (singing) ♫ Movin' to Gramma's house, oh, movin' to Gramma's house ♫ / ♫ Oh, we're movin' to Gramma's... ♫ / ♫ House... ♫ (A fly flies into Cricket's mouth, causing him to choke.) Cricket: (coughing) Bug flew in my mouth. (Several more flies land on Cricket's face. He screams, then rubs them all off.) Cricket: Oh, man, I am super excited about the city. Livin' in the country was great and all, but I was a big fish in a little pond. I'm ready for a bigger pond. Tilly: It'll be great to see Gramma again. (She looks at a photo of her and Cricket with Gramma Alice on a sofa. She imitates her using her hand.) "It'll be great to see you, too, Tilly, and give you lots of chocolates." Bill: Now I know things have been tough since losin' the farm, but livin' in the city will be a fresh start for us. It'll be great. In fact, it's gotta be great. (starts panicking) If this doesn't work out, I don't know where we'll end up. Tilly: (handing Bill a bag) Papa. Bill: Thanks, sweetie. (He breaths heavily into the bag to ease the hyperventilation.) Cricket: Dad, don't worry about it. I know a lot about the city. In fact, you might call me an expert. Cricket Green, city expert. Tilly: But you've never been to the city. Cricket: I flipped through a book once. Bill: (sweating) Did I miss our exit? (starts panicking) Kids, help Dad out. Help Dad out! Cricket: (pointing) Dad, there it is. (Cut to outside, where the truck is exiting the Interstate into Big City.) Cricket (OS): Pull over here, Dad. Here, I'll help. Bill (OS): Cricket, get your hands off the wheel. Downtown Big City (A traffic cop is guiding the traffic and blowing her whistle. A hot dog man is making hot dogs, and some shaggy guy wearing headphones holds an arrow pointing to the hot dog stand. A hotel handyman opens the door for a man wearing a suit and hat and carrying a briefcase.) Bill: Boy, things sure are different around here since I was a boy. This area used to be all rollin' farmland. Cricket: Yessir, this is the place for me. Cricket and Tilly: (looking out the window) Wow! (They look at the Big City Capitol Building.) Cricket: It's more beautiful than I thought. Dad, Dad, we gotta pull over. There's so much happenin' around here. Bill: No, Cricket, I'd rather not. Drivin' around here is freakin' me out. (horns honking) Bill: (annoyed and angrily) I'm doin' my best, pal! Cricket: Look at that thing. Oh, missed it. Tilly: Oh, that's cool. Aw, missed it. Cricket: Come on, Dad, can't we get out for just a little bit? I can show you two around. Bill: Boy, let me concentrate. (yells) Traffic cop: (blowing whistle) (Signals Bill to stop. She signals cars to go in the parallel direction.) Bill: I'll sure feel a lot better once we get to Gramma's house. Huh? (He notices that Cricket is out on the sidewalk.) Cricket: Hey, Dad. Bill: Cricket, why can't you be good like your sister? Huh? (He notices that Tilly isn't in her seat, but that she is out on the sidewalk as well.) Tilly: Hi. Cricket: Dad, you've gotta come check this out. Bill: (rolling his eyes) All right, fine. (Cut to a post with multiple "No Parking" signs that make little to no sense.) Bill: "No parking except on weekdays. Holidays and Sundays in between the hours..." It don't make no sense. Cricket: Let's see. Mm-hm, mm,hmm. Looks good. Come on, Dad, hurry up. Bill: Well, okay. Cricket: This ain't nothin' like back home, Dad. Look around ya. Welcome to Big City! (Camera zooms out, revealing some more of the metropolis.) Tilly: Neato! Cricket: Yay! Bill: (nervously) Oh, boy. Cricket: (leaning his hand on a car) Sure is impressive. (car alarm blares) Well, whoop-whoop to you, too. (He notices a stand selling free Splish soda cans.) Are these really free? Street vendor: Yeah, man. I've had, like, 11 of these today. Whoo! Cricket: (grabbing some soda cans) Look, Dad, free sody pops. Compliments of that very radical dude. (He opens a can and sprays soda in his face.) (yells) Ooh-whee! (turns around and gasps) Tilly, over there. (He shows her a diseased pigeon.) Look, a noble city bird. (Closeup on the pigeon turning his head back and forth.) Cricket: I wonder what he's thinkin'? Tilly: Here, city bird, have some crumbs. (She tosses some bread crumbs, which summons a whole flock of pigeons. They land on the sidewalk near Cricket and Tilly.) Cricket: Huh. Ah! Move, move, move, move! (He pushes Tilly away from the pigeons.) Bill: I'm not so sure about this. Cricket: Ah, what are you talkin' about? It's not so bad. Why, with an expert like me by your side, we'll be able to handle this city, no problem. (The truck behind them pulls ahead to reveal that their truck is being towed away.) Bill: (gasp) Our truck! No, no, no no no no no! (They run off after it.) Bill: Uh, excuse me, sir. I think there's been a little mistake here. Come back! (The tow truck keeps going.) Bill: Ho... Cricket: Ly... Tilly: Moley. Bill: (starts panicking) My map was in that car. I don't know how to get to your Gramma's house without it. (yelling) What the heck are we supposed to do now?! Tilly: (rubbing Bill's chest to calm him down) Be calm, Papa. Cricket: Tilly's right. Be calm, Papa. This is nothing more than a minor setback. Cities are full of options and possibilities. I'm sure we can find our way to Gramma's house. How big can Big City be? (Camera zooms out, revealing much, much more of Big City.) Cricket: Ew. Just felt a chill go down my spine. Come on, Gramma's house... Cricket and Tilly: Gramma's house, Gramma's house. Bill: Oh, boy. Big City Crosswalk Cricket: If we can't drive, we'll just start walkin'. Easy squeezy. (He stops walking when a car zooms right past him.) Whoa, coulda died. (The "steady upraised hand" signal changes to a "steady walking man" signal.) Hey, look, a little ghost man. Ghost means go. (They cross the street with a whole crowd of people.) Ah... ah. Ah... (giggles) Tilly: (riding on top of a man's head) Whee! Bill: (struggling to fit in with the crowd) Oh, gosh, my personal space. My personal space! Big City Highway (They all leave the crowd and exhale, then find themselves stuck in traffic.) Woman (OS): Move it! Man #1 (OS): Hey, watch it! Man #2 (OS): Get outta the road! (They escape the traffic onto a sidewalk. A runaway bride suddenly appears to their left.) Runaway bride: Taxi. Taxi! (A taxi cab stops by and picks up the runaway bride.) Cab driver (OS): Where to? Runaway bride (OS): Anywhere away from Kyle. (The cab drives off.) Tilly: Let's get in one of those. Come on, Papa. Just wave your hand in the air. Bill: Tilly, you know how I feel about paradin' my finger around in public. (Half of his finger is missing.) That hay baler took the best part of me. Cricket: I got this, Dad. The yellow cars are the hardest to catch. So leave it to me. (He leaps out over the street.) Taxi!! (He lands on the windshield of a taxi cab.) French cab driver: Sacre bleu! (He wipes Cricket off onto a sidewalk.) Cricket: Man, they don't stop for nuthin'. Tilly: Hey, guys, I found a feller who's offerin' us all a ride. (She points to a hobo and his old van.) Hobo: (opening the back door of his van) Come on and hop in my creepy van. Cricket: Whoa, whoa, no no no, Tilly, let's just walk away. (He pushes Tilly away.) Bill: No. Thank you very much, sir. Hobo: Eh, probably a good decision. Tilly: What now, Mr. City Expert? Cricket: Well, let's see. Hmm. (He looks at a nearby sewer.) Aha. I know a secret way people in the city get around. (Cricket opens the sewer, but an alligator is in it.) Alligator: (growling) Cricket: Nope. Never mind. Follow me. Downtown Big City (Cut to a music montage of Cricket, Tilly, and Bill struggling to find their way through Big City. They get into a construction site, where some construction workers complain about them setting foot in their wet concrete. They walk along what appears to be an ordinary floor, until Cricket reaches the edge and nearly falls off but stays on, then stops Tilly and Bill from going further. Camera pans out to reveal they are on the roof of a skyscraper. They enter a bar, where they encounter three rowdy gamblers. They exit the bar just before the gamblers throw bottles and stuff.) Female singer: This day is A-OK as long as I am here with you / Morning, noon and evening / I can see now that this life is so beautiful / Never will I think about it / All I wanna do is shout / This day is A-OK (End of music montage.) Big City Sidewalk Cricket: (weakly) Gramma's house, Gramma's house. Gramma's house. Bill: (tired) Cricket, would you just stop? (A bus passes by and splashes them.) Bill: Please be water. Cricket: (He dries himself off as he notices the bus stopping and an old lady getting aboard it. Camera zooms in on the sign on the bus, yielding its logo, "Big City Bus", and a talking bus saying, "We'll get you there!") That's it. We'll take the best form of public transportation available. The city bus. Big City Bus (Cut to the bus driving downtown later that day, with Cricket, Tilly, and Bill aboard.) Cricket: Ah, ridin' to Gramma's house in comfort and safety. (Various creepy and unattractive people stare at them.) Bill: Oh, no. The bus is full of weirdos. We should get outta here. Cricket: No, it's fine. (He points to what appears to be an ordinary guy in a hoodie and pants.) Oh, hey, that guy looks friendly. Just mindin' his own business. (The hoodie rumbles, and out come rats.) Cricket: Rats, rats, he's made of rats! Dark alley (Cut to Cricket, Tilly, and Bill getting off the bus.) Cricket and Bill: (panting) Man 1 (OS): Are you sure we're in the clear? Man 2 (OS): Don't worry. If anyone sees us, I'll take care of 'em. (chainsaw buzzes) Bill: Okay, come on, let's go, go, go, go, go. (They leave.) Big City bridge (Cut to a bridge, where two rowdy men are fighting. Camera pans under the bridge, where Cricket, Tilly, and Bill are hiding.) Bill: Ugh, some fresh start. First we lost the farm, then we lost our truck, huh, and now we're lost. City ain't no place for us. We'll just have to live somewhere else. Cricket: (sighs) Maybe you're right, Dad. I was sure I knew everything about the city, but it turns out, I don't know nuthin'. I thought I could handle a bigger pond. Tilly: Well, if we're gonna live on the streets, might as well get comfy. (She sees an old cardboard box.) This cardboard box will make a handsome breakfast nook. (She flips the box over and it falls apart into quarters.) Or maybe a rug. (She hears the backing up signal of a large vehicle and turns around.) Bill: Oh, look, there's another poor soul the city's workin' against. (Cut to an abandoned red convertible about to be towed away by the same company that took the Greens' truck, Big City Towing. Closeup on the logo.) Cricket: That's the same towin' company that took our truck. (He gets an idea.) Dad, I made a big mistake. I've been tryin' to show you how great the city is, but I shoulda been remindin' you how great we are. We're tough. We're resilient. We're the gol dang Green family! Now we've got a chance here to get our truck back, and if we can do that, then we can surely make it in Big City. Come on! (He grabs Tilly and Bill's hands and they run for the convertible.) Bill: Wait, Cricket! Big City Towing (The tow truck drops the convertible off, and Cricket, Tilly, and Bill pop out of the convertible.) Bill: Is this legal? Cricket: Sh. There it is. (Cut to their truck, which shines and sparkles.) Bill: Just as beautiful as the day we met. Cricket: (gets out of the convertible) Come on, let's go. Bill: Cricket, wait. (Cricket runs past a sleeping guard dog, who wakes up. The Greens reach the truck.) Cricket: It's just like we left it. Ketchup stains and melted crayons and everything. Bill: (gets out his keys) Okay, okay, don't make so much noise. (Just as Bill is about to unlock the truck, the guard dog Cricket woke up pops up in front of him, startling him and sending the keys flying and landing on a pile of garbage. The guard dog and two others angrily snarl at the Greens.) Cricket: Move slowly and quietly. Guard Dogs: (barking) (They charge at the Greens.) Cricket: Never mind. Scatter! (The Greens scatter, but the guard dogs are one step ahead of them. '' '''Tilly:' (yelling) (She stops, then slides down a nearby slide.) Whee! Guard Dogs: (barking) Tilly: (yelling resumes) (She continues running from the guard dogs.) Bill: (He tries hiding from the guard dogs in a nearby car.) Phew! (Camera zooms out, revealing the car is half damaged, and an angry guard dog is growling at Bill, and continues chasing him.) (Cricket tries to escape from a guard dog by climbing up the pile of garbage. He grabs the keys.) Cricket: I got the keys! (He slips.) Whoa! (He lands back on the ground, where he, Tilly, and Bill are surrounded by the guard dogs.) Bill: Oh, we shoulda never come here. We don't know anything about the city. Cricket: (gets an idea) You're wrong, Dad. There's a lot we may not know about this city, but there's a few things we do. (He puts his fist down on a nearby car, activating its alarm blare, startling the guard dogs.) Have some free sody pop. (He shakes a couple of cans.) Compliments of the house. (He throws the cans at the guard dogs, spraying soda in their faces.) Now, Tilly, release the crumbs. (Tilly throws bread crumbs on the guard dogs' heads, summoning a flock of pigeons to eat them, which gives the Greens a chance to escape.) Cricket: Now's our chance. (The guard dogs, even angrier, get back up and chase after the Greens, who get in the truck.) Bill: Come on, come on, come on! (Just as he starts the truck, the guard dogs get right outside his door.) (screams) (He drives, but stops abruptly in front of a guard dog and reaches into his pocket.) Cricket: Dad, what are you doin'? Tilly: Go! Bill: Sorry, I just gotta make this right. (He puts a couple of one dollar bills in the guard dog's collar.) There we go. Always do the right thing, kids. (The guard dog bites his broken finger.) Cricket and Tilly: Dad! (Bill releases his finger from the guard dog's mouth) Guard Dog: (whimpers) Bill: Heh. Hay baler. Ha! (He drives the truck out of Big City Towing, with the guard dogs angrily barking at them.) Downtown Big City Cricket, Tilly, and Bill: (all laughing) (They stop short.) Cricket, Tilly, and Bill: Wow! (Cut to a view of the city lighting up at night.) Cricket: Ya know, we did pretty well back there, didn't we? Bill: Yeah, we did. Gramma's house, Gramma's house. All: Gramma's house, Gramma's house, Gramma's house! Gramma's house, Gramma's house! (They continue driving.) Green's House (The next morning, they make it safely to Gramma's house.) Cricket and Tilly: Wow! Bill: Well, at least this place hasn't changed. Cows: (Moo) Cricket: It's just like home. Tilly: (pets a hen) We get to live here, Papa? Bill: That's the plan. What do you think? Cricket: (touches the homemade wind chimes) It's perfect. Bill: (knocks on the door) Hey, Ma, we're here. (He opens the door.) Ma? Ma! (Gramma is seen playing dead on the rug.) Cricket, Tilly, and Bill: (scream) Gramma: (gets back up) Yah! That'll teach you to be late. I coulda died. (She holds out her arms.) Now give me a hug. Cricket and Tilly: Gramma! (Cricket, Tilly, and Bill all run over to give Gramma a hug. Cut to outside the house as they all start talking and laughing.) Cricket (OS): Oh, Gramma, that was crazy. Tilly (OS): You were Bill (OS): Yeah. Real funny, Ma. Gramma (OS): Oh, welcome home. (End of transcript.) Category:Episode Transcript Category:W Category:Season 1 Transcripts Category:A-Z